There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
