Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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