I'm really into asian looking animals
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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