He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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