Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
