My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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