When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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