I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
