I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
