meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
