so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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