yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
