when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
