It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize