hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
