i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
