I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
