i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
