Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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