Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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