I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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