they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
