Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
