before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
