we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
