I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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