Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
