how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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