I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
