I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
