Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize