I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he laminated a picture of his dick.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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