i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
