covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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