the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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