ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
