I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
