I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
