hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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