i would punch a child for taco bell
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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