Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
