yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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