Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
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Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
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So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
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