also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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