belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
