Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
