she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize