Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I forget how to act sober
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
