if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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