one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
