this will be a night to untag.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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