The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
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She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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