I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
