just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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