the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
