dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
