if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
