Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im holly from the hills drunk
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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