Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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