i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
