It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
