I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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