It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I know her cup size but not her name....
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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