i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
