what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You took a bar mat shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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