i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
