i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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